Character Design Sketch - 204

[Omen]

This is a design sketch for a new character created by John Hamilton. The character's name is, '204' and he will be working to develop him over the next few months in preparation for our next "New Legends: The Hero, The Anti-Hero, The Vigilante" anthology. Here is a simple synopsis of what can be expected from this Anti-Hero (note - while the synopsis and illustration was done by myself, the concepts and descriptions were created by John Hamilton):

204 Synopsis

His name was taken, his identity stripped, his thoughts conditioned, and his will fatigued. The troubled youth entered the program which was supposed to be a new method of discipline masked as rehabilitation.

It was the Director that taught him what a mask truly was, for the entire facility was a mask to the public. It was far more brutal and grim than any school, and yet presented as such.

The torture made the children within its walls monsters, as the drugs stole from them their inhibitions. Their savagery was released upon one another as a social sport. Survival was a blur; reality a scar.

It took beatings, rapes, stabbing, and determination to embrace the three years that past as the youth learned to exist within the boundaries of this world of chaos. It took those same three years before he had the strength to fight the drugs and escape.

It took freedom before he understood what humanity truly was.

Although he was free… the nightmares became his shadows, the hurt his family, and rage his best friend. Isolation and vengeance became a path less of a burden than fitting in with his estranged family that now cared for him. Keeping the darkness within him was driving him insane as he struggled to do what was right.

The only way to save himself was to release the darkness by using the very same techniques the school taught him. He became the mask, the resentment, the secret, and the violence. He vowed to protect the weak and his city.

The youth embraced his second self by becoming the very person he survived as, in his history of hell; within the walls of the school, he was merely a patient with a number.

To his enemies, then and now, he had become…

204.

[Hero Man]

Nice! 204 has never looked better!

[John Reid]

I like it.

[Omen]

Thanks. I told him that this character and story had potential. I am anxious to see how he develops it. I am glad to work with him on this.

-Omen

[204]

I think I'm finished developing 204 now; he has a new look too, I borrowed your "204" symbol/logo but ended up changing just about everything else; he has a cape and cowl now, and a utility belt with the following image (without the above text and below link; just the "Prisoner For Profit" text and logo) made into a matching Belt Buckle (yellow/yelow chrome): wwaspsurvivors.com/the-troubled-teen-industry/

[204]

And this image in yellow on the back of a black cape:  www.dullhawk.com/timesup.html


I might end up reversing the two images; the Prisoner For Profit logo on the black cape (looks more original to it's design anyway) and a yellow, possibly black and yellow "Time's Up" Gadsden Belt Buckle, which would be easier to fit onto a belt buckle than the PFP logo. Yup...probably gonna end up doing that.

[Omen]

Cool. If you are going to develop this character, then the secret is to spotlight his depth while making his purpose crystal clear; answer the questions of, ‘What does he stand for?’ and ‘What is he fighting for?’.

I like the concept and I think the direction you want to take him can have potential.

What type of ‘feel’ do you want to have for the adventure? Do you want a local feel like Batman in Gotham or a large scale feel like Superman? Will 204 be limited to battling this ‘school’ or will he still be designed to protect the city?

Will he be solo, with a partner, or a team? Is he a team player and what kind of relationship does he have with law enforcement?
I would like to hear more about this character.

-Omen

[204]

I did a rough draft of the new suit design; here's a link to some links to the items used to make it: rlsh.net/forums/topic/4/new-204-suit-concept/view/post_id/9

I'm thinking his story is more large-scale like Superman, but he himself is more kindred with the Batman type; he respects law enforcement, but sees them as a potential threat and will plan meticulously to avoid them whenever possible; he'll never hurt or kill a police officer though, and if one stands between him and the mission, he'll go out of his way to not hurt them. The amount of cops who disagree with him and the amount who recognize the need for him are fairly equal; too youth advocacy groups and juvenile justice lawyers however, he's a true hero, and does the things they only wish they could do. 

He starts out merely being fixated on the School, and he was a loner. He decided joining the Superhero Community could help him, and was right; a few detective types; skeptical of his claims at first discovered that not only was he being honest, but stumbled upon a sinister plot wrought with mad scientists, elitists, supersoldier experiments where he was being held, and a connection of mysterious government projects linked to an organization of supervillains known as the WASPS; the Worldwide Association of Specialty Programs and Schools, originating from a cult-like adult rehabilitation being experimented with by a group called Synanon back in the late fifties; their founding fathers who passed down generation after generation, the horrific, singular, purpose: World Domination, via the very Future of Humanity itself; the children.....

[204]

He stands and fights for children (the safeguarding of the Future of Humanity), and perhaps above all, the thing he was denied from an early age: Liberation. He ends up traveling the world after the Legion as an international mercenary, liberating child soldiers and helping suffering kids of all walks of life; he's all about safeguarding the future of humanity (kids)....batman style. XD

[204]

Darn; turns out you have to be registered to see that RLSH link; here it is copy/pasted; mom says I should be a costume designer; I told her that's a nice thought and yeah I like design, but it's not where my passion lies; been trying to get the to come to terms with what has to happen as much as I can while I'm still with them; mom started the book, dad's next lol. XD

It's a hard book to read for them, but they need to know, and I can't let myself be scared to let them know everything anymore; any issues we have in our family regarding everything that's happened so far needs to be resolved now, while there's still time.

Oh, yeah, the suit items, here's the paste:

I re-designed the 204 outfit so that it conceals my identity more; it will include a cowl from here: www.xtremedesignfx.com/herocowls.htm The "Generic Cowl 3" (or "Zorro" cowl as it looks to me; has tassles in the back like Zorro. It should fit fine due to stretch but I think I'll use the mask adhesive on it as well just so that it can't be ripped off easily or shift down in front of my eyes by accident.



This is the muscle suit: www.flexdesigncostumes.com/lean-muscle-suit-300.html They had a few options; lean looks like the best way to go; not too crazy looking. They can make it grey too, so I won't even need a unitard to go over it. When the grey muscle suit arrives I can send it to Lance to have the logo put on. I changed the logo from my stencil-look to Omen's Design here: visadj.com/thread/1038/character-design-sketch-204 Main reason I opted out of the stencil is because it's too familiar/related to me, the more obscure 204 symbol has never been affiliated with me, only a character. In addition if someone sees me there likely won't be enough time for them to tell what it is exactly, all they could be able to say is "Dude had some weird symbol on his chest." An observant person would see it's a 204; even those who aren't can tell what it is up close and given time to examine it, but if they just got a glimpse while I was in the middle of something, it likely wouldn't be enough to piece together what it is.

Okay, muscle suit, emblem, cowl...ah, boots and gloves: 365outdoorwear.sportsmansguide.com/product/index/mens-thorogood-10-softstreets-wellington-boots?a=646189&ci_src=17588969&ci_sku=WWSX*0158731103570&pm2d=CSE-WWS-15-PLA&utm_medium=PLA&utm_source=Google&utm_campaign=CI&gclid=Cj0KEQiA3bymBRC19IrD7O_NrYsBEiQAb2dpA1RrD173cndSmXF35ORjUnkpddxo9Uyy-aOsaZX5G3MaApa98P8HAQ

www.leatherglovesonline.com/np/MensGloves-Clearance-damascus-crt300-vector3-riot-control-gloves.htm#page=details

But those don't really match and I'm sorta OCD when it comes to coordination, so I'll send the boots and gloves to Lance for some custom work; the gloves will have different gauntlets on them: www.xtremedesignfx.com/gloveshands.htm (Gauntlet 2; the white, four panel gauntlets, except I'll order them in black, as well as the black four-bladed Boot Armor as opposed to green: www.xtremedesignfx.com/bootsbootarmor.htm

Next, the Utility Belt; this one was tricky to find and is going to be tricky to modify which I think I can just do myself and save a few pennies: www.amazon.com/DC-Collectibles-Batman-Utility-Replica/dp/B00I6EUBXI With this I'll have to just get rid of the bat buckle or simply have a yellow Latex belt buckle molded into the PFP (Prisoner For Profit) Logo and glue that onto/over the existing buckle. The logo will only be able to be read at close range which is fine, from far away it'll probably just show up as solid yellow and blend into the rest of the belt, which I'll also have to paint yellow; fortunately it doesn't look like the little bat symbols on the snaps are embossed or raised so I should be able to just paint right over it with this: rcdriftmission.com/shop/airbrush-kits/master-airbrush-brand-complete-airbrush-system-with-paint-g22-airbrush-air-compressor-6-air-hose-2-oz-bottles-of-createx-premium-artist-paint-in-black-red-blue-yellow-green-white-the/

So let's see what we have, muscle suit, emblem, boots, gloves, utility belt, cowl; I think it's just the cape that remains. Now that was really tricky; if you type in "Custom superhero capes" you get a bunch of little kid gumdrop; it's adorable as hell seeing all the little kids running around in their cartoonish super capes, but totally not what I was looking for. So then I was looking for "Black Capes" and got a bunch of vampire or batman scalloped capes, but those wouldn't work for me; I want more of a black superman or Zorro styled cape (without the regal patterns). Finally found a replica Batman Begins Cape; apparently that cape was never scalloped; it was a flat hem like what I was looking for: www.superherosource.com/batman-black-hero-cape.html#

Now adding the yellow snake on green grass with yellow lettering symbol I thought was going to be tricky: www.dullhawk.com/timesup.html But then it occurred to me that I know a place up in Fairbanks that does custom patches/embroidery; my dad gets business hats and shirts there for his company. I'm sure they could do a superhero cape logo based on that design for a price.

And then that will be the finale of the basics for the new suit; next, the thousands of dollars in armoring and logistics. Man, hope this coming fire season is a scorcher; I'm going to need to get my ass onto at least three Extended Assignments; not gonna just be able to patrol in the engine with my buddies if I wanna make enough to finish the suit this year. Extended assignments are super tough mentally and physically but when you get the five thousand dollar paycheck after a little over three weeks you go from absolutely hating your job to "I wanna do it again!" really quickly. Just so long as there's three really big fires this year and I'm on them, I should be able to make more than enough, with some to spare. Then comes dividends in October; last time it was over 1500 dollars. Man, I gotta start doing the 17 week program to get ready for the Pack Test; I don't want Bruce Balderston Male Incompetento to have a single doubt about me this time; I took care of Firestarter and his bullshit and hopefully proved myself to Balderston during his interrogations; Firestarter and I used to be friends, but things were different after Utah; I guess I wasn't a good friend anymore as maybe I should have been, I tried avoiding him; felt he'd compromise my job with the DOF; then he followed me and got in himself but was blacklisted by them shortly after, at which point he tried to burn my city down and fled North.....okay well, main topic is out the way I gotta quit ramblin' l8ers. XD

Oh, and this: www.opticsplanet.com/blackhawk-level-3-tactical-serpa-holster-4306.html



Just rounded up the total approximate cost of the suit (not counting the armor and gear) and it came out to only 2200; I thought it was going to be more but I was probably just subconsciously including the armoring. Fortunately the Basic Suit will just be one Crew Job, sweet.

[204]

Eventually a forms a network of survivors such as himself who were also kidnapped and experimented on by the same people; reuniting a former prison gang called Can't Be Stopped Kings, (CBSK).

[Omen]

While going back to revisit your costume design, I would be careful of the Batman similarities. It pastes your character into a corner against a Brand that is dang near the number one superhero character in the world. It is an uphill fight that all newcomers-to-storytelling lose.

If he's going to be 'realistic' and tactical, he wouldn't wear a cape. Its not functional. If you're going for the true fictional look, then stray away from the Batman colors, as well as the Batman 'trap', in general. You can let him inspire you and your design, but what you don't want, is for five people to see your design and four of them mention 'Batman' in their first series of critiques.

You have the ability to experiment with colors, so make sure you use them.

Remember, it is okay to be inspired by the 'Bat', but you don't want to copy him. Twist it up some, otherwise, people will ignore the uniqueness in your tale just to comment on the comparison between Batman and 204.

[Omen]

Dig into yourself and let’s try to make something happen. Your character 204 has a story to tell and that story needs to begin before it can be read or heard. Starting with the first chapter – make it a paragraph or two; I want you to complete this idea:

“Life is tough, but living is tougher. Waking up slowly, my voice felt out of place and the smell about me was different…”

(Take over and start the tale of 204)

-Omen

[Deleted]

Life is tough, but living is tougher. Waking up slowly, my voice felt out of place and the smell about me was different; fresh pine, and the crisp, cold Alaskan air stinging my nose. I jolted awake, suddenly remembering my mission. I've been watching this woman for a couple days now; the woman who's responsible for selling me to the WWASPS over eight years ago. She's going to work now; I hope against hope that she's not disposing of another child in her compound today. But now the house was empty, and I know she won't be back for hours....time to go to work. Trying to control the racing of my heart, I step out of the truck and begin to approach the lair of my enemy.

The residence was cozy on the inside; I could tell the old woman had a lot of guests. This early in the day of the work week though I shouldn't expect any interference. I found her bedroom. Fortunately....she has an extensive jewelry collection; guess she's a girly-girl....when she's not crushing the spirits of children and tearing families apart anyway. I started shoving the newfound treasure into my utility belt. There was a bunch of mason jars full of coins on a shelf; guess this is her "rainy day" money. I put that all in my ruck sack. And a few crystal statues; not sure if they're worth much, but every little bit will help; I'm going to need a lot of gas money, and it's only sensible that my enemies fund my war. 

Moving downstairs I come across a work bench of sorts. Her husband must be a handy man. I grabbed the fanciest looking power tools available, and put those in the bag as well before moving up to the living room. There was a flat screen; that'd be worth a pretty penny, but I'd probably need an extra set of hands to move it out to the box truck. I found some mail on the counter, some was directed to her husband, so I opened that up. I already have enough info on the Director, but her husband is more of a mystery. Guess it was pay day for him today; some checks from his place of business. I know the place; his wife will be home before he is. Good. 

After going back out to open up the back of the truck and put my belt and bag away, I entered the house again and sat down on the loveseat facing the television, and turned it onto one of my favorite shows; Ancient Aliens. The Director should be home in about four hours, hopefully sooner if it's a slow day and not many legal issues or injuries of her subjects to throw some paperwork at. Then her and I will have a little chat...

[Omen]

Frickin' Impressive! Now we are starting something that can grow. You need to come up with a title for this, as well as identify this write-up as your first chapter and give it a chapter-title. Now when new chapters are created we can add to it and keep things in order making them easier to read.

Here’s an example, let’s say the name of this entire story is, ‘204’. You headings will look like this, for this first chapter:

204 – Chapter1: A Mouse in the Pantry (Remember, this is only an example)

If you keep working on these short write-ups and create, at least, 1 or 2 a week you story will grow and your mind will begin to logically assemble the parts as your characters come to life.

This was a great start, it makes the reader look forward to the next chapter. If you want another example and proof that this can work, take a look at one of our most popular threads that actually grew into an ongoing story from awesome ideas and brainstorming. Multiple writers participated and shared in the growth of this:

Rayn – What happens when the rain doesn’t stop
Link: visadj.com/thread/491/rayn-happens-when-rain-stop

-Omen

[Deleted]

Actually, I was thinking of calling it "The Nowhere Chronicles".

The team I'm in the process of forming is called the Nowhere Kings; so far it's just me (204), 051, 007, 023, and 158. 158 is missing in action though; according to his sister he's stranded somewhere in the Sonorran Desert. I searched on Google Earth and the region is right next to his hometown, also found the adress of a possible relative that can point me in the right direction, provided 158 isn't actually hiding out at his place. I'm not sure what he's running from yet, but his sister told me "My brother doesn't want to be found." I thought he was dead; my heart stopped when I saw a photo of him online last year. Last I saw him his had had been smashed repeatedly with a rock during an escape; we were with a few others, and they fled into the desert as I was kneeling in the now-black sand from Darby's blood, trying to move him but he was too heavy. I'd promised I'd come back for him, but an Escort Unit desecended on me later and hauled me back to the School. I never saw 158 again until last year, and I've been trying my best to make contact with him ever since; all I've been able to find is his family and friends who haven't heard from him.

The name "Nowhere Kings" came from a song on a CD album that my old therapist gave me to listen to; Nowhere Kids, by Smile Empty Soul. It really resonated with me. The "Kings" part of the team name comes from the prison gang I was jumped into in Utah, which turned out to be an actual street gang in Los Angeles that had only migrated to the facility in Utah; just found that out a year ago too; I'm an actual gangster. CBSK; Can't Be Stopped Kings. Sometimes the K stood for "Krew", but it was usually referred to as Kings. The CBS part, in LA specifically, sometimes stands for "Complete Broken System or Corrupt Broken System. Which, ironically, I also deeply relate to. I probably have some friends in LA I didn't even know existed. May have to get jumped in a second time though to prove myself in order to get their help on missions.

At first, I was going to name the team after CBSK, but when I found out it was a real gang, I decided against it. And remembered that song; thus was born The Nowhere Kings.

We don't fit in, we don't belong anywhere; our lives were stolen from us. We're kings of nowhere...I like the poetry.

[Deleted]

The first chapter should probably be entitled "The Nowhere Chronicles, Book 1, Chapter 1: Genesis". I'll work on the first chapter some more; that was just a rough idea.

[Deleted]

The story's not about me.

[204]

Finally! I remembered my password. I couldn't get a new one because I'd also forgotten which email I used lol. XD

[The Muse]

Sounds like you have got a good start going with the story.

[204]

Thanks; the Final Draft should be done at least by February. Hopefully much earlier....

[The Muse]

Keep at it! And having worked in the publishing business for a while now, I can tell you that once you have it done, put it through spell check, grammar check, then read it through for consistency, etc, etc. Those sound like "No Brainers" but you would be amazed at the writers that don't and subsequently get rejected. Double check for good flow of story, make sure you use the same point of view all the way through it. Have someone else read it through for you too and point out anything to you that doesn't make sense to them, since sometimes we know what we meant, but the idea doesn't always come across to the reader.

[204]

Thanks, I'll keep that in mind.

I was actually kinda considering changing points of view in the book from time to time. In real life, there's actually a few different parts of the story at play at the same time, in various separated locations around the world. Once I've figured everything out and how it's all connected, I think it would be cool to tell the story from my point of few for a few chapters or so, and then switch to telling the story from my enemies point of view, or the people's that I save point of view. It could make it a bit more of a psychological thriller I'd think too; fitting in more in-depth perspectives than just mine.

[204]

Let the readers decide which perspective they think is "right".

[The Muse]

So it sounds like you would be telling the story in first person, switching back and forth between characters for different chapters. I have read books like that and it works.

As long as you don't switch between first person, third person and omniscient, its all good.