RLSH - What happened to the RLSH website?

[The Muse]

204, its nice to have you back.

I can understand those things you went through. At times life is insanely difficult to deal with and in trying to deal with it, we inadvertently can be less than stellar in our choices, actions, reactions, what-have you.

I think between Omens last comment and your clarification on your own behalf, that we can put this matter to rest now.

Life is about change, moving forward, learning from both our and others mistakes and about CHOOSING how we are going to live and act in the future. It sounds like you are climbing out of a valley in your particular life. That's not always easy, but don't give up and you will find each day a bit brighter and your life a bit happier.

Keep this in mind: Not my circus, not my monkeys.

Other peoples choices, lives, opinions, what have you, do not actually affect our lives, unless we allow them to.

I appreciate what drives the RLSH's to do, each in their own way, what they do. Not to get all religious on you, but there is a scripture in the Bible, 1 Thessalonians 4:11. It says "Make it your aim to live quietly and mind your own business." I'm not sharing that with you to discourage you from being an RLSH, but merely to give you a tool when it comes to looking at the other ones. What they choose to say and do, really doesn't concern you. What you say and do, doesn't really concern them.

You will find along the years and with even more experience than you have, that at times keeping our opinions to ourselves displays more strength than trying to win an discussion with them. Why? Because it takes massive self control. And self control is a super power. People don't have it anymore. Just look at the insane amounts of random acts of crime, like road rage. Its a result of complete lack of self control.

You seek to combat these very evils. To do so, you will need to cultivate qualities that are the OPPOSITE of those in the crime world.

Honesty
Integrity
Bravery
Self Control
Selflessness

Never give in to anger...it merely feeds the flames. People will be harsh, small, petty, what have you. But you don't need to be. Try to learn not to be offended at what people say. Offense indicates that we think more of ourselves than we think of anyone else. That contradicts the selflessness that a RLSH needs to have to truly do an effective job.

I'm only saying these things because each and every human being on this planet could do better. We ALL fall short in some area or another, often in many areas. What you seek to do is a good thing. I wish you the best and if I said anything that can help you grow, then I am happy. It is good to see you again. I hope you won't be a stranger.

[The Muse]

Omen, I'm not a weapon, please do not threaten people with me.

[204]

Thanks; you're very well spoken. I know I can seem a little crazy at times, but I've given it a lot of thought; and after thinking long and hard about the path I'm on, I've concluded that I don't have much of a choice. I'm obligated by the piles of dead children to go above and beyond the call of duty; to do what no one else is doing to safeguard the very future of humanity. I survived though, and went on to learn a great deal about their industry and the Fortune 500 company at the head of it all, so as a survivor, I also have a responsibility to make sure that what happened to me doesn't happen to any other kid so long as I can do something about it.

I've been a political representative for YPS for the past three years. I've spent hundreds of dollars on resources of information for various senators, governors, representatives, stand-in secretary's, policy makers and other members of the legislature. And I haven't seen a single kid actually saved by any of the repeated BTKH (Bring The Kids Home) board meetings year after year. It has all been a colossal waste of time and money. There's actually "pushback" on fighting the WWASPS because they "donate" to their campaigns. So, I'm done with politics.

There have been a lot of lawsuits though, very few of them successful for the simple reason that the WWASPS are a multi-billion dollar company and have ARMIES of lawyers at their disposal. Bottom line, it would take years and years to see anything accomplished by trying to stop them legally or politically. And I am SO DONE wasting my time with doing things "the right way"; it's well past time to do things my way.

These kids don't need another "voice"; they need a Go-To Guy, and I'm not the first one to take up the mantle of vigilante in this crusade either; there was one other. His name was Richard Bradbury. He's my inspiration, my hero; my own personal Kitty Genovese. His story can be found here: thestraights.net/articles/bradburytrial88.htm

Tragically, he eventually took his own life; his name is near the bottom of the list of dead kids: www.residentialtreatmentcenterabuse.com/deaths-at-residential-teen-programs.php

In my eyes, I have NO right to do any less than he did. I've already eshausted my efforts on using the law and politics....people need a scary, dramatic example to snap them out of apathy.

I have been and will continue to be Honest about the dangers posed by my sworn enemies; the WWASPS.

I stand up for what I believe in when it seems everyone says I'm wrong; I'd say that's Integrity.

And oh boy; with how much power the WWASPS have and all the hulking security guards, I'd definitely say my willingness to bust in and rescue the kids and face whoever stands in my way as a pinnacle of Bravery. I'm scared as hell at what my future has in store for me, but Bravery is doing what MUST be done, regardless of one's personal feelings. Being scared, and doing the job anyway.

Self Control is a bit of a paradox in my mind....see, I don't believe in free will. I'm a fatalist; I believe in destiny and Chaos Theory. But, fortunately, my experiences and upbringing has enabled to me to show RESTRAINT...which in someone else's eyes could be seen as "self control". But I don't have any control over my ability to show mercy and restraint, just like I don't have any control over my ability to demonstrate ruthless, barbaric violence when the situation demands it. :/ (That one kinda confused me a little, but I'm sure it's just becaus emy brain works a little weird lol; I'm a high-functioning sociopath; big difference from a psychopath by the way; people tend to get that confused).

And finally, Selflessness. I got that; I'm probably going to end up in prison; if anything I'm sacrificing any slim chance that I may have had at ever being able to lead a normal life. I don't want to do this; sure a little part of me does, but in reality, I'm scared of what comes next, and I don't want to throw my life away and abandon my family and friends here, I want to be normal, and happy......but there are more important things in this world than what I want, and I know that if I back down, I will forever be asking myself "What if?" and wondering what could have been....either way I'm fucked, really. So, when at a loss as to which bowl of crap smells better than the other, I have no choice at all but to simply follow my heart; surrendering to the whims of destiny once again like I've always had to...I guess it's true what they say; you can never go home again; not truly. Even after escaping that godforsaken desert, I was never truly free....might as well still be locked up in a plastic Kanine Kamper Size Medium.

[204]

Another note on Richard Bradbury; he provided shelter and safe transport for some kids who were escaping the facility he was held at, despite the possibility of being labeled a "kidnapper" by the facility; he physically got in the way of the guards to assist in their escape. You can read all about it in Help At Any Cost by Maia Szalavitz; I got a spare copy I can send to you if you'd like.