HELP - Getting Motivated to Workout

[Omen]

Getting motivated to workout

This is a plea… a lonely, desperate, and SAD plea for help and advice.

What does it take to get motivated to workout again?
What is the secret to eating ‘right’ and living healthy?

My first ‘self-sarcastic’ answer was… a near-death experience. After a poor man’s smile and disappointing chuckle I realized that my self-denial and self-resistance were teaming up against me and determined to win.

I was an avid outdoors person a few years back. I loved my mountain bike, swimming at the beach, jogging, weightlifting, and dry-cleaned clothes. I ate a fruit salad for breakfast, on my mad dash to work, half a sub for lunch, and spoiled myself for dinner… unless, I knew I was going out later in the evening.

Big meals put me to sleep, instantly.

Now, my belly stares at me in the morning. I haven’t seen the sun in days… in fact, I see it a few times a week. My bike has flat tires and rust. Push-ups scare me. My closest thing to swimming is singing off-key in the shower, and my bones crack when I fight to put socks on. I have four sets of dress clothes that are recycled on a weekly basis, because I refuse to make time to go shopping.

My breakfast is lunch, on a good day. My lunch is dinner which is usually a mound of 'no-self-control' and sleep. It has drifted into becoming my only meal of the day, along with unsalted peanuts and pistachios.

I giggle sometimes and find it harder to maintain a friendship with myself. WHY? Because of the classic romanticism of living through yesterday and remembering what I was like.

It has been so long, until I have forgotten how to motivate myself to do more than work, eat, sleep, sit behind the computer, and repeat. It seems that I have become the kind of guy, I used to make fun of.

CURSES!

So the question is, how to I change?
What is the first step? And how do I take it?

Trust me, I’m not asking for me… instead, I’m asking for myself.

(Does this mean I’m crazy?)

[The Muse]

Nope. It means you aren't 20 anymore.
Try this: The first few days or first week of changing your eating habits are the hardest. Stock the fridge with lowcarb, ready to drink protein shakes to grab when you are hit with the urge to "graze" or when you don't feel like making the effort to fix something healthy. Avoid sugars, starches, rice, potatoes, bread and pasta like the plague for a few weeks. It takes 21 days to develop a new habit.
You are blessed in this, it wont hurt you to indulge in crabs. Just avoid any butter, have them Maryland style or low-country boiled style instead. Have a salad or green veggies instead of the heavy carbs.
Next important thing is to MOVE. You have a pool...use it! It will provide good cardio while minimizing the stress on your joints and body from your weight. Swim back and forth til you are out of breath, rest and catch your breath and then do it again. You will find yourself being able to do this for longer and longer periods. Get in the pool three times a week to start out.
Change your SLEEPING habits. Science has proven that if you don't get a straight 6-8 hours of sleep, you destroy your bodies ability to lose weight. Its vital to get enough sleep to be successful in being healthy. If you must work during the night, be sure you get enough sleep in one stretch during the day.
The payoff is this:
In a few days you start to feel better.
In about three weeks you will start to see physical differences in your body.
In about 6 weeks your family will be able to see differences in your body.
In about 12 weeks, your friends and acquaintances will be able to see the difference too.
If you need a complete motivational makeover, then perhaps you should go to one of these places:
Biggest Loser Resorts Fitness Ridge. It is a worth while investment that could save your life and help you find that guy you lost along the way. There is even a groupon discount for it that could save 40% off of a visit there. www.groupon.com/deals/ga-the-biggest-loser-resort-2?utm_source=Google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=US_DT_SEA_GGL_TXT_TTT_SR_CBP_CHG_NBR_k*the%20biggest%20loser%20resort_m*b_d*US-Getaways_g*ga-the-biggest-loser-resort-2_c*45989519145_ap*1t2&suppress_choke=TRUE

[The Muse]

So what did you decide to do? Anything?

[Omen]

Workout and I got in an argument last week and haven't worked things out yet. She caught me cheating with that harlot, 'Laziness' and her best friend, 'Greed'.

I learned my lesson because I ended up sick and begging after they used me up and discarded me for the next handsome face they could seduce.

I felt like a fool.

Now, I merely sit in the dark and talk to my neighbor 'Workaholic' who keeps telling me to hangout at the office and bury myself in projects.

It's not bad advice, but it doesn't quite make me feel complete.

I actually hope that 'Workout' will forgive me and take me back. She actually makes me feel good about myself when we spend time together.

-Omen

[The Muse]

*rolls eyes at the drama king*

Maybe before you try to get 'Workout' back, you should get yourself introduced to 'Healthy Eating' that should make Miss 'Workout' sit up and take notice....