Post by motega on Mar 15, 2014 6:34:49 GMT -5
Ok I would like to warn anyone who can or will be easily offended, you have the choice to read this but you cant say there was no disclaimer. What was written may trigger people, make them angry or disgusted even. what was written is of my own point of view, what i expressed is real. What i written has no filter. This message or expressive piece is something i wish i was told from the start when i was on the path of my own personal healing. I am sorry if any of you get offended, but for the ones who are hurting who were betrayed by family who abused in all its forms, this is targeted to them. As i said before this is one sided its of my own personal opinion and yes from what i got from my personal experience. After reading this, please feel free to express your thoughts just please don't debate. knowing others opinions are great, debates do leave room for personal intentional attacks.
What i wish to be told, not what i had to learn:
No one has ever told you, no one wanted you to know, they did this out of protection. Truth is life is different for the broken for the abused. Take my hand the broken the hopeless and i will try to show you what you already know. Life has no conscious life doesn't feel love nor hate, it doesn't discriminate it has no reason to care. The shadows in the distance are as real as you and I, don't run away they will only hurt you if you lift of that blade. You may not understand why you cant feel love but so easily to hate, lack of understand seems to make anyone frustrated. I know of pain, just as much as the word love is so questionable so foreign when it does end with a bruise or a misguided male and female so determined to have you come over to them in your birthday suit. You were dealt a mistaken hand life was never meant to be glorious, it does not discriminate we all will be hurt but you were given the worst. No one told you that life will be hard to take as a blessing, its hard to see a true gift when you trying to survive mend your wounds from yesterday. All scars are the same just the ones people can see heal quicker then the hidden emotional pieces that were stolen. No one told you and me that each step we take will always be followed by our demons, no one wanted to tell you that your were broken before you can walk, by the time you could talk your first response was what you heard. anger responses is all you learned, they called us the troubled ones I called myself the damned. They said you can never be fully integrated in society, they didn't tell you the reason was because of the pain you lived with, the guilt the fact when you smile its not cause your happy its the fact your not being abused in the house of your friends. In the end all good things always come to the end cause parents thought you were a bad influence, self perspective was misunderstood as violent tendency when this was the only way to express how self worth was for you. They didn't tell you that you would be isolated not by your choice but others, No one said you will trust the wrong more than the right, no one said each day you leave the unfortunate environment you will always have those tendency being violent or confused disgusting desires. No one said you will take the fast rout out, with a note of expression tainted in blood either. Only because a simple phone call never helped the pain continued regardless. No one will tell you that you will live with so much shame till the day you stop breathing, no one said you’d have to fake your way through life just to be able to be seen as an equal. No one told you that you will loose yourself that you will have to break down the walls that you built up to protect what's left of your very sanity. Life doesn't care if you die, its the people who your surrounded by, The abused the broken the used who are still breathing life is what you make it, you can form it, take advantage of this one fact you evolved into something different, while others have fallen off the cliffs you choose to believe regardless what was said. You decided to pick up your shattered pieces and put yourself together one painful memory at a time. You become whole with in your brokenness, some pieces missing but still able to walk. Words tried to contradict your truth, no one deserves to suffer by the hands of the weak. there is no strength when it comes to abuse in all its forms. When you hear that you deserve the best, don't throw it away like you were as a child as you are now. Its not natural to inflict pain for no reason, those people are more broken then you. Be something more take what you can find of yourself and create a new identity. Life has not code to follow, its you to decide to continue with you taken the pain or giving it, i can guarantee one thing with this choice. You may continue to take the pain each and every day, but understand you will never live. You may continue the historical trend abuse the ones who you know cant defend or fight back, the cost is great because you will never be able to live with yourself and you can try and drown the truth out with alcohol or drugs. Both will always give you a low, and regardless what you say you’ll deserve each low when you abuse people who cant defend. The third choice is the hardest, If you pick this don't expect to be the same as everyone ells. Do not expect to be like everyone else who lived a good childhood or a good life. Your pain will always be with you the only thing you can choose is to have that pain control who you will be in the future, or you make amends don’t take that pain as a disease make it a fuel your very driving piece to do something beautiful. Hard to believe its possible, truth is all things are possible. Naturally with every destructive force that passed through this world it takes time to heal from its devastation but something amazing is created from the remnant of the damaged. Lava burns everything in its path, after years go by vegetation claims its place in the remains. When a tornado blows through, it destroys everything in its path, did you know that there been times people realized unmarked and unknown artifacts from the past. Its rare but its not unheard of. When a hurricane is done its destruction people have found interesting and amazing things is brought onto the shores. We are no different, except we choose to continue the history of devastation or choose to be something amazing later healed from the wake of the abuse. Pain will be part of your life but i refuse to tell you it will continue, just as i refuse to tell you it will be easy. Through pain you know exactly what you want, simply its not what you had from the abuse. You will be better prepared for whatever is thrown at you either by other people or unknown circumstance. Its not going to be easy cause you will always have that doubt, there will be times you find it hard to breath. Don't be ashamed that you feel like you want to explode, don't be ashamed when you start to cry because of a haunted memory. Just vent it in a non destructive way. Healing will take its time as of all things, just take it one day at a time do something remarkable be who you want to be. you are your own creator be something you’ll be proud of when looking in the mirror, don't expect everyone to understand the way you think. Don't discredit the way you think either, The ones who been traumatised by abuse have a tendency to understand hard choices will be made. The difference is we can deal with the consequences, its nothing but a speed bump to the ones who were once broken. Know that all names that you were given from your peers your coworkers from once your friends and even your family will cease to exist to echo once you learn to truly smile. You do deserve the best, and you will get the best if your hungry enough to get it. Happiness is hard to fully receive, I understand its a chance that it will quickly leave. That's something you will always think because its been a normal occurrence for you, Truth is nothing is forever so accept any good thing that comes your way. Once you actually feel love you will be passionate beyond any definition, but don't worship the one you love. We are all humans incomplete and flawed, nothing will be definite nothing is forever. Take the risk to love to trust, just don't obsessive it scares the crap out of the one your in relationship with. Don't take things personally being words or even by the way people act. Your better there words will never amount to your abuse. Don't try to be every one ells, for the majority never helped you from the start when the pain started. Only a small minority cared, even smaller minority that didn't need to get paid to care for your well being. Take each day as your first and last, nothing is forever just like the very breath you take each day tomorrow it may not be in your lungs, just don't take your existence your very life by suicide of any kind, Let it be natural means. Don't think for once your worth nothing, The only way you know your worth in this world is living till your body is incapable to operating any longer. don't be afraid of death, it doesn't decimate or have an opinion as to why you became in its existence. Its the people the voices who will discriminate in some way or twisted form. Be a Phoenix, be someone amazing. The broken will always know a lie, they don't need it to smack them in the face. The broken the abused who survive and thrive who choose to live will always change lives, doesn't matter if its one life at a time or a group. Wise men were always created by mistake they’ve done or were forced to endure, fools are created by not learning from what is thrown at them. You choose to simply Evolve or stay in the very definition of insanity. Its your choice, it will be hard you will still be hurt. your either become an abuse or you decide to be something better. No on can make this choice for you. I know no one has ever told you this. This is your reality choose what you want to be, someone who you can love or someone you will forever hate.
I know many people may have gotten offended by what was said triggered even, to some reminded of the life they had in the past. Understand this again is of my opinion my point of view and pretty much a sight with in my mind, the hard choices i made but am now livable. to some this may help. to others it may be disrespectful. To the ones who been or still living in the unfortunate situation. This may simply give them hope, motivation even. I made this for them, for literally for the people who have the mutual bond of abuse in all its forms and haunted by pain. There is real hope, just you need to fight like your very existence depends on it because your life does, if you legitimately and honestly want to heal and live a better livable life.
What i wish to be told, not what i had to learn:
No one has ever told you, no one wanted you to know, they did this out of protection. Truth is life is different for the broken for the abused. Take my hand the broken the hopeless and i will try to show you what you already know. Life has no conscious life doesn't feel love nor hate, it doesn't discriminate it has no reason to care. The shadows in the distance are as real as you and I, don't run away they will only hurt you if you lift of that blade. You may not understand why you cant feel love but so easily to hate, lack of understand seems to make anyone frustrated. I know of pain, just as much as the word love is so questionable so foreign when it does end with a bruise or a misguided male and female so determined to have you come over to them in your birthday suit. You were dealt a mistaken hand life was never meant to be glorious, it does not discriminate we all will be hurt but you were given the worst. No one told you that life will be hard to take as a blessing, its hard to see a true gift when you trying to survive mend your wounds from yesterday. All scars are the same just the ones people can see heal quicker then the hidden emotional pieces that were stolen. No one told you and me that each step we take will always be followed by our demons, no one wanted to tell you that your were broken before you can walk, by the time you could talk your first response was what you heard. anger responses is all you learned, they called us the troubled ones I called myself the damned. They said you can never be fully integrated in society, they didn't tell you the reason was because of the pain you lived with, the guilt the fact when you smile its not cause your happy its the fact your not being abused in the house of your friends. In the end all good things always come to the end cause parents thought you were a bad influence, self perspective was misunderstood as violent tendency when this was the only way to express how self worth was for you. They didn't tell you that you would be isolated not by your choice but others, No one said you will trust the wrong more than the right, no one said each day you leave the unfortunate environment you will always have those tendency being violent or confused disgusting desires. No one said you will take the fast rout out, with a note of expression tainted in blood either. Only because a simple phone call never helped the pain continued regardless. No one will tell you that you will live with so much shame till the day you stop breathing, no one said you’d have to fake your way through life just to be able to be seen as an equal. No one told you that you will loose yourself that you will have to break down the walls that you built up to protect what's left of your very sanity. Life doesn't care if you die, its the people who your surrounded by, The abused the broken the used who are still breathing life is what you make it, you can form it, take advantage of this one fact you evolved into something different, while others have fallen off the cliffs you choose to believe regardless what was said. You decided to pick up your shattered pieces and put yourself together one painful memory at a time. You become whole with in your brokenness, some pieces missing but still able to walk. Words tried to contradict your truth, no one deserves to suffer by the hands of the weak. there is no strength when it comes to abuse in all its forms. When you hear that you deserve the best, don't throw it away like you were as a child as you are now. Its not natural to inflict pain for no reason, those people are more broken then you. Be something more take what you can find of yourself and create a new identity. Life has not code to follow, its you to decide to continue with you taken the pain or giving it, i can guarantee one thing with this choice. You may continue to take the pain each and every day, but understand you will never live. You may continue the historical trend abuse the ones who you know cant defend or fight back, the cost is great because you will never be able to live with yourself and you can try and drown the truth out with alcohol or drugs. Both will always give you a low, and regardless what you say you’ll deserve each low when you abuse people who cant defend. The third choice is the hardest, If you pick this don't expect to be the same as everyone ells. Do not expect to be like everyone else who lived a good childhood or a good life. Your pain will always be with you the only thing you can choose is to have that pain control who you will be in the future, or you make amends don’t take that pain as a disease make it a fuel your very driving piece to do something beautiful. Hard to believe its possible, truth is all things are possible. Naturally with every destructive force that passed through this world it takes time to heal from its devastation but something amazing is created from the remnant of the damaged. Lava burns everything in its path, after years go by vegetation claims its place in the remains. When a tornado blows through, it destroys everything in its path, did you know that there been times people realized unmarked and unknown artifacts from the past. Its rare but its not unheard of. When a hurricane is done its destruction people have found interesting and amazing things is brought onto the shores. We are no different, except we choose to continue the history of devastation or choose to be something amazing later healed from the wake of the abuse. Pain will be part of your life but i refuse to tell you it will continue, just as i refuse to tell you it will be easy. Through pain you know exactly what you want, simply its not what you had from the abuse. You will be better prepared for whatever is thrown at you either by other people or unknown circumstance. Its not going to be easy cause you will always have that doubt, there will be times you find it hard to breath. Don't be ashamed that you feel like you want to explode, don't be ashamed when you start to cry because of a haunted memory. Just vent it in a non destructive way. Healing will take its time as of all things, just take it one day at a time do something remarkable be who you want to be. you are your own creator be something you’ll be proud of when looking in the mirror, don't expect everyone to understand the way you think. Don't discredit the way you think either, The ones who been traumatised by abuse have a tendency to understand hard choices will be made. The difference is we can deal with the consequences, its nothing but a speed bump to the ones who were once broken. Know that all names that you were given from your peers your coworkers from once your friends and even your family will cease to exist to echo once you learn to truly smile. You do deserve the best, and you will get the best if your hungry enough to get it. Happiness is hard to fully receive, I understand its a chance that it will quickly leave. That's something you will always think because its been a normal occurrence for you, Truth is nothing is forever so accept any good thing that comes your way. Once you actually feel love you will be passionate beyond any definition, but don't worship the one you love. We are all humans incomplete and flawed, nothing will be definite nothing is forever. Take the risk to love to trust, just don't obsessive it scares the crap out of the one your in relationship with. Don't take things personally being words or even by the way people act. Your better there words will never amount to your abuse. Don't try to be every one ells, for the majority never helped you from the start when the pain started. Only a small minority cared, even smaller minority that didn't need to get paid to care for your well being. Take each day as your first and last, nothing is forever just like the very breath you take each day tomorrow it may not be in your lungs, just don't take your existence your very life by suicide of any kind, Let it be natural means. Don't think for once your worth nothing, The only way you know your worth in this world is living till your body is incapable to operating any longer. don't be afraid of death, it doesn't decimate or have an opinion as to why you became in its existence. Its the people the voices who will discriminate in some way or twisted form. Be a Phoenix, be someone amazing. The broken will always know a lie, they don't need it to smack them in the face. The broken the abused who survive and thrive who choose to live will always change lives, doesn't matter if its one life at a time or a group. Wise men were always created by mistake they’ve done or were forced to endure, fools are created by not learning from what is thrown at them. You choose to simply Evolve or stay in the very definition of insanity. Its your choice, it will be hard you will still be hurt. your either become an abuse or you decide to be something better. No on can make this choice for you. I know no one has ever told you this. This is your reality choose what you want to be, someone who you can love or someone you will forever hate.
I know many people may have gotten offended by what was said triggered even, to some reminded of the life they had in the past. Understand this again is of my opinion my point of view and pretty much a sight with in my mind, the hard choices i made but am now livable. to some this may help. to others it may be disrespectful. To the ones who been or still living in the unfortunate situation. This may simply give them hope, motivation even. I made this for them, for literally for the people who have the mutual bond of abuse in all its forms and haunted by pain. There is real hope, just you need to fight like your very existence depends on it because your life does, if you legitimately and honestly want to heal and live a better livable life.
