Post by justsarah on Jul 8, 2012 23:30:28 GMT -5
This is sort of what I've been taking so long to work on over the weeks. Its issue one for my graphic novel later. I'm already working on Issue II.:3 Numbers are panels, not pages.
Edit: Here are the first Eight pages of the revised script -
PIlot Chapter
PAGE ONE: (3 Panels)
Panel 1. This is proleville (Not its actual name), a city left after the third world fire. Picture a multi racial ghetto in the distant future. Proleville is stuck in the era of the early 2000's. However in the sky was can see skylights coming from lavish fruit gardens in the upper elite city along the glass dome. Indicate a space age city in the early 2090's.
Panel 2. The time is 11:45 PM. A small group of abandoned children live in a rundown apartment room. There is Richard, who is mostly useless, but is somewhat competent with first aid. There is Bianca, who likes to fight. And there is Akiko and Hiromi, who are here in the US city illegally.
Panel 3. Richard, who has his right knee and his left shoe on the floor, tends to the wound of Bianca, who is sitting on the couch with her eyes glazed over.
RICHARD: Bianca, try to be careful. You don't want to rip off the turniket. Its the only one we have.
BIANCA: I appreciate the concern Richard, but I think I'll be fine.
RICHARD: Hey, I know you will. I care about the turniket.
PAGE TWO: (4 Panels)
Panel 1. Akiko, and Hiromi are typing on their laptaps on the apartment room dining table.
Panel 2. The groups heres a wracket outside.
Panel 3. Bianca pushes Richard aside.
Panel 4. Richard slams into the wall.
PAGE THREE: (4 Panels)
Panel 1. She then looks out of the window.
Panel 2. She then goes back inside to sit on the couch.
Panel 3. Outside, Malcolm is walking along the sidewalk to get to the apartment room. A motocycle gang wearing leather jackets are vandlizing the apartment. All he can see are their silhouettes.
Panel 4. Malcolm tries to get the other kids attention.
MALCOLM: Hey guys, can I help you?
PAGE FOUR: (4 Panels)
Panel 1. The other kids are not really paying any attention to him. So he asks again.
MALCOLM: Hey, I asked if I can help you!
Panel 2, One of the kids turns around.
Panel 3. He stares at Malcolm blankly.
Panel 4. However he is frozen in fear, situated upon the other kids fixed gaze.
PAGE FIVE: (4 Panels)
Panel 1. The kid turns back around, and continues vandalizing the apartment.
Panel 2. RIchard looks out of the window.
Panel 3. He notices that the kids have an unusual color for kids that live in the neighborhood,
Panel 4. He leans back inside.
PAGE SIX: (4 Panels)
Panel 1. Malcolm arrvies at the apartment door.
Panel 2. He opens the door.
Panel 3. Bianca punches Malcolm in the nose.
MALCOLM: Watch out cow! Its me.
BIANCA: Oh Sorry baby. Malcolm are you hurt, you could have gotten killed out there.
MALCOLM: On to more important issue. Briefing room now! .
Panel 4. Malcolm pushes the girls into the Briefing room. Richard follows with his tale between his legs.
PAGE SEVEN: (3 Panels)
Panel 1. Picture a rundown apartment bedroom. However, instead of a bad, there is an extremely used couch. Hiromi has clinging her wooden clog to the door, and has her arms crossed while she stares at Malcolm. Akiko sits beside Richard, cowering behind him as she stares at Malcolm. Richard is comforting Akiko, as he stares at Malcolm. Bianca his her legs crossed, with her left clog torwards Richard, she has her arms crossed. Malcolm is sitting at the glass coffee table, smoking his joint as he stares at the others.
Question to the editor: Should this panel actually be seperated into an action by action? Originally my thought was to seperate into a few. This panel is not final.
MALCOLM: Did you here about the murder?
BIANCA: What?
MALCOLM: Our older friend Charles was murdered last night.
Panel 2.
BIANCA: By who?
MALCOLM: Thats what I want to find out.
Panel 3. Malcolm stares at Richard, who appears to be deep in thought.
MALCOLM: Richard, tell me what your thinking. If we ah gonna work togetha, A commune is key!
PAGE EIGHT: (2 Panels)
Panel 1. Richard remember when he saw the color of the kids the earlier.
RICHARD: Lets assume I could be wrong though. It hope its not a mistake.
Panel 2. Richard face looks concerned.
RICHARD(Cont.): But I don't want to jump to conclusions to quickly.
Edit: Here are the first Eight pages of the revised script -
PIlot Chapter
PAGE ONE: (3 Panels)
Panel 1. This is proleville (Not its actual name), a city left after the third world fire. Picture a multi racial ghetto in the distant future. Proleville is stuck in the era of the early 2000's. However in the sky was can see skylights coming from lavish fruit gardens in the upper elite city along the glass dome. Indicate a space age city in the early 2090's.
Panel 2. The time is 11:45 PM. A small group of abandoned children live in a rundown apartment room. There is Richard, who is mostly useless, but is somewhat competent with first aid. There is Bianca, who likes to fight. And there is Akiko and Hiromi, who are here in the US city illegally.
Panel 3. Richard, who has his right knee and his left shoe on the floor, tends to the wound of Bianca, who is sitting on the couch with her eyes glazed over.
RICHARD: Bianca, try to be careful. You don't want to rip off the turniket. Its the only one we have.
BIANCA: I appreciate the concern Richard, but I think I'll be fine.
RICHARD: Hey, I know you will. I care about the turniket.
PAGE TWO: (4 Panels)
Panel 1. Akiko, and Hiromi are typing on their laptaps on the apartment room dining table.
Panel 2. The groups heres a wracket outside.
Panel 3. Bianca pushes Richard aside.
Panel 4. Richard slams into the wall.
PAGE THREE: (4 Panels)
Panel 1. She then looks out of the window.
Panel 2. She then goes back inside to sit on the couch.
Panel 3. Outside, Malcolm is walking along the sidewalk to get to the apartment room. A motocycle gang wearing leather jackets are vandlizing the apartment. All he can see are their silhouettes.
Panel 4. Malcolm tries to get the other kids attention.
MALCOLM: Hey guys, can I help you?
PAGE FOUR: (4 Panels)
Panel 1. The other kids are not really paying any attention to him. So he asks again.
MALCOLM: Hey, I asked if I can help you!
Panel 2, One of the kids turns around.
Panel 3. He stares at Malcolm blankly.
Panel 4. However he is frozen in fear, situated upon the other kids fixed gaze.
PAGE FIVE: (4 Panels)
Panel 1. The kid turns back around, and continues vandalizing the apartment.
Panel 2. RIchard looks out of the window.
Panel 3. He notices that the kids have an unusual color for kids that live in the neighborhood,
Panel 4. He leans back inside.
PAGE SIX: (4 Panels)
Panel 1. Malcolm arrvies at the apartment door.
Panel 2. He opens the door.
Panel 3. Bianca punches Malcolm in the nose.
MALCOLM: Watch out cow! Its me.
BIANCA: Oh Sorry baby. Malcolm are you hurt, you could have gotten killed out there.
MALCOLM: On to more important issue. Briefing room now! .
Panel 4. Malcolm pushes the girls into the Briefing room. Richard follows with his tale between his legs.
PAGE SEVEN: (3 Panels)
Panel 1. Picture a rundown apartment bedroom. However, instead of a bad, there is an extremely used couch. Hiromi has clinging her wooden clog to the door, and has her arms crossed while she stares at Malcolm. Akiko sits beside Richard, cowering behind him as she stares at Malcolm. Richard is comforting Akiko, as he stares at Malcolm. Bianca his her legs crossed, with her left clog torwards Richard, she has her arms crossed. Malcolm is sitting at the glass coffee table, smoking his joint as he stares at the others.
Question to the editor: Should this panel actually be seperated into an action by action? Originally my thought was to seperate into a few. This panel is not final.
MALCOLM: Did you here about the murder?
BIANCA: What?
MALCOLM: Our older friend Charles was murdered last night.
Panel 2.
BIANCA: By who?
MALCOLM: Thats what I want to find out.
Panel 3. Malcolm stares at Richard, who appears to be deep in thought.
MALCOLM: Richard, tell me what your thinking. If we ah gonna work togetha, A commune is key!
PAGE EIGHT: (2 Panels)
Panel 1. Richard remember when he saw the color of the kids the earlier.
RICHARD: Lets assume I could be wrong though. It hope its not a mistake.
Panel 2. Richard face looks concerned.
RICHARD(Cont.): But I don't want to jump to conclusions to quickly.
